We’ve all had our painful relationships and dating missteps. Being cheated on or lied to is sadly not unusual. The important thing is to learn, vow to do things differently next time, and move on. One way to have a better outcome next time is to recognize any warning signs you overlooked. Years ago I […]
Tag: superficial sex
Try “Yes” for a Change
I’ve been working with singles for years, and I’m still surprised how often they’re quick to shoot down an idea. The most common complaint is that they can’t meet anyone they want to date. They meet singles, but not any “good ones.” These folks ask for ideas, but when I suggest something they immediately dismiss […]
What’s Expected of You?
“Young women in particular seem to feel that they have to do what is expected of them.” Shmuley Boteach, author of Kosher Sex Rabbi Boteach made this observation in 2000, and I still see evidence of its validity today – and not just from younger women. Single women of all ages comment that the impression […]
Honesty is a Non-Negotiable
I’m always amazed to see how much lying happens on television and in the movies. Want to impress someone you’re attracted to? No problem, just make something up. (E.g., the series opener of About a Boy) What’s the thought process here? Unless it’s a one-night stand, they’re eventually bound to find out your real age, […]
Timing is Everything
They say timing is everything, and I certainly think that applies to dating. Just as so many things are fast-tracked today (the Internet, hiring procedures, college courses, and weight loss, to name a few), for many people dating is also in the fast lane. I continue to watch sitcom characters have sex on the first […]
Time to Update the Safe Sex Message
I was asked recently what my bigger-than-I-could-ever-imagine-happening dream is. I’m happy to say that I was able to answer immediately: I’d like to see the safe sex campaign updated for the new millennium and replaced with a sane sex movement. For decades, the government and health officials have been encouraging people to practice safe sex. This means […]
What Do You Find Irresistible?
Have you ever met someone you just couldn’t resist? If you polled people, you’d find that there is a wide variety qualities or characteristics they find so attractive they lose their resolve, discretion, and typical good judgment. For instance, some are drawn to people in the entertainment world or public eye. Individuals in powerful positions […]
Does Sane Sex Work at Any Age?
I’ve been asked if the sane sex applies to single people of any age. It does, although I get uncomfortable when people suggest having high schoolers read my book. While the book’s message is one I would love teenagers to embrace, I consider sex to be an adult behavior and inappropriate for anyone under age […]
Is the Wait Long? – Part Two
How long does it take to establish the emotional intimacy needed for sane sex? As I stated last time, it does not have to be long. When Roger and I met, we’d both done our inner work. We spent time together that allowed us to talk and really get to know each other. Neither of […]
Is the Wait Long?
I admit that the phrase, “worth waiting for,” can suggest having to settle in for the long haul. But it doesn’t have to be that way. To practice sane sex means to delay having sex with someone you’re attracted to until you’re emotionally intimate with them. So the question becomes, how long does it take […]