As if the Enneagram isn’t complex enough with its nine styles (or types, the terms are used interchangeably) and numerous triads, there are multiple lines, often shown as arrows, connecting the styles. No wonder it’s all just too much for some folks. But take heart, it’s not as complicated as it appears.
One of the things I like most about the Enneagram is that we are NOT assigned to a single style, or put into a box as some people say, end of story. With intention, we can access all nine styles, and we have a natural connection to five styles: our primary type, our two wings (the types on either side of primary type), and the two styles connected to our primary type by the lines/arrows. Today, let’s look at these two connecting styles.
Traditionally the Enneagram image connects the nine types with arrows, known as the directions of integration and disintegration, according to Don Richard Riso. For decades the basic teaching was that when stressed, we naturally follow our style’s direction of disintegration and adopt the less-than-ideal behaviors of that type. The disintegration sequence is always the same: 1-4-2-8-5-7-1. An arrow connects One to Four, and another connects Four to Two, and so on. To clarify, a One, when struggling, disintegrates to the unhealthy behaviors of a Four whereas a Seven disintegrates to a One. For the styles on the inner triangle of 3-6-9, think of the disintegration sequence as descending: 9-6-3-9.
The direction of integration is simply reversed, reflecting the type we move to when we’re feeling secure; the sequences are these: 1-7-5-8-2-4-1 and 9-3-6-9. Therefore, when a reformer One is feeling safe, it’s natural to take on the enthusiastic, playful behaviors of a Seven and in security a Six can let go of their defenses and express the acceptance found in healthy Nines.
All that said, many current Enneagram teachers no longer attach arrows to the lines. One such expert, founder of Evolving Enneagram Rev. Nhiên, teaches that we can move along either connecting line in stress or security. It’s all about awareness and choice. That’s the value of understanding the Enneagram: when we recognize we’re in stress and start disintegrating along either connecting line, we can make another choice.
Let’s take an example. As a One, being organized and prepared comes easily for me. When things feel out of control, traditional Enneagram thinking would look for me to feel depressed and misunderstood, similar to an unhealthy Four. However, when I catch this tendency, I can lean into the healthy energy of a Four or a Seven. Sounds great, but it takes some practice. For instance, several years ago, my husband Roger and I planned a weekend trip to San Diego, but the two-night trip turned into a four-night stay due to car trouble. I found it difficult to turn on my Seven energy and enjoy the extra two-days exploring San Diego. Worry about missing work, getting coverage for my Jazzercise class, and paying for the car repairs threatened to crowd out my enjoyment of this unexpected good. Thankfully Roger, a Six with a big Seven wing, lives life to the fullest. He filled the extra days with wonderful adventures and showed me how to relax and have fun.
Take a look at the lines that connect to your primary style. Observe yourself for a week or two and see if you find yourself moving along either line and, if so, when. Journaling your reflections may help you catch the patterns and opportunities.