As a type One on the Enneagram, I knew the lure of perfection was something for me to be mindful of, a trap that can hook the ego. I was surprised during my Anamcara training to find that many of my fellow apprentices who are not Ones also struggled with the desire to be perfect. Twos want to be perfect in their help, and Eights want to be the perfect leader. Threes strive for perfection in their accomplishments, and Fives look for the perfect source or explanation.
With all this focus on striving to accomplish perfection, it’s easy to look back at our lives as a series of failures. But what if the purpose of life isn’t to succeed or complete a list of accomplishments? Perhaps instead we’re meant to evolve our souls, as Kermie Wohlenhaus, Ph.D. suggests in How to Talk and Actually Listen to Your Guardian Angel. Wohlenhaus cites studies describing how participants, hypnotized to return to their birth, revealed that before they were born they went through a process to identify their soul’s mission, such learning to overcome fear or guilt.
Take a moment to consider a situation in your past that the world would label a failure, such as getting divorced or being fired. It’s likely the event caused pain and other unpleasant feelings, such as regret or embarrassment. However, given enough time and reflection, you’re likely to identify valuable lessons you picked up as well. Once you can see the purpose of this lifetime is to learn and grow, it’s quite possible to label this experience a success. In fact, being able to cull the lessons from any experience would turn anyone’s life into a series of successes, if their mission is to evolve their soul.
What meaning does this perspective have for you, given your Enneagram type? To explore this idea with others, join us on Zoom every third Thursday of the month at 4:30 Pacific time, where we support each other in using the Enneagram to learn and grow.