Despite the cheerful decorations and ubiquitous holiday music, my heart is heavy today; perhaps yours is too. The shocking news of children gunned down and terrorized by another young male is all too familiar. It has led me once again to reflect on the pervasive violence to which we’re continuously exposed and its role in such occurrences. Hostile words and violent imagery are found in music, video games, television, and movies, and in the advertisements for these things. Even our language is violent: cursing in public has become commonplace.
I was pleased to hear the mayor of New York call upon Washington lawmakers to re-examine their position on gun control. Despite the views of the NRA, do you really think our founding fathers in 1791 envisioned the amount and types of weaponry available to the general public today? I think they would be horrified to find that their well-intentioned act of passing the second amendment to secure our militia could have had even a small part in the massacres of scores of school children. I believe such violence was never imagined in their day. Look at the respect and formality in their manner of speech to each other, for example.
While I support stricter laws regulating the possession of guns, there is much more to be done. Thankfully, we are not powerless. It is time to actively promote nonviolence. And the place to begin is with ourselves. To promote nonviolence, we first must recognize the violence that we allow into our lives and homes and begin to eradicate it.
- Let’s look at what we watch on television and at the movies. If a being from another planet came to America, they would have to conclude from our movies and television that we are a nation obsessed with violence, crime, and destruction. Could you blame them? Spend a few minutes in the lobby of any movie theater in town. Watch the movie trailers. Guns and violence are portrayed in the vast majority of them. I discovered years ago that violent images have a profoundly negative effect on my thoughts, sleep, and mood, so I watch almost no popular television and see very few R rated movies. I simply will not expose myself to most of what is being presented today.
- Now add to that mix the video games and music that kids are routinely exposed to, and the violence is overwhelming! Are you surprised that young males are almost always the perpetrators in mass shootings? When I remember that industry experts point out that the majority of movies are written to appeal to 18 – 26 year old males, the connection is obvious. And yes, research studies do support what social scientists and psychologists have theorized: viewing movie violence and/or playing violent video games heightens aggressiveness and is correlated with stronger pro-violence attitudes. Do we really need an increase in pro-violent mindsets among any age group?
- Let’s not forget television. I admit that if you commit to watching only non-violent shows, your choices will be greatly diminished. Do it anyway. And please don’t tell me that in the crime shows you watch the good guys always win. Remember Mother Teresa’s example of not attending anti-war rallies? I don’t think her only point was to be for something rather than against the opposite. I believe she also understood the law of attraction, in that what you focus on and dwell upon expands. The attention of most TV shows and movies is on crime, and the message is to fight violence with greater violence. When are we going to figure out that that approach is just not working for us?
- Allow me to remind you of the advice from the physician at the Banner Alzheimer’s Unit who said: if you would invite it into your home, then watch it. If you wouldn’t, then don’t watch it. Do you want your home to be a crime scene? Do you want yellow crime scene tape around your house or chalk mark figures drawn on your driveway? Then don’t watch anything with CSI in the title or a picture of someone with gun on its advertisement. It’s really quite simple. Please note that it’s not my intention to make villains of those in the TV and movie industries. They make these shows and movies because we watch them. Stop watching them, and they’ll stop making them.
- Another appealing choice I heard recently comes from Sue Ellen Allen, the co-founder of Gina’s Team, a non-profit organization that provides education and support to the incarcerated. Sue Ellen told me that she no longer swears because she heard far too much of it during her years at Perryville prison. Perhaps that’s one reason I like Toastmasters so much. The culture can seem a bit stuffy at times as it promotes respect through handshakes and the use of formal titles among members. It sure beats being cursed at, though!
- Another form of violence to watch out for is violence towards oneself. This can take the form of eating disorders, cutting, and other acts of self-abuse and unforgiveness. If you don’t already have one, seek out a loving spiritual community that will help you to be at peace with and love yourself, absolute prerequisites to promoting nonviolence in the world.
This is a big topic and I didn’t get to tell you about the Season of Nonviolence, a formal period beginning January 31 and promoted by the Association of Global New Thought. Join me next week for more – and have a peaceful week!