I recently thumbed through a journal I kept during my dating days and found a letter I’d written. It was an exercise I’d done where I imagined how a letter from the love of my life would have read. There were several purposes to the activity, one of which was to put on paper how I would you like to be treated. How would like to be treated? Are you experiencing that?
One powerful way to attract a relationship where we are treated in the manner we desire is to first start treating ourselves that way. If you want someone who is compassionate, first be compassionate with yourself. (This goes for married people, too. Catherine Ponder, among others, has many stories of people who changed themselves and noticed a corresponding shift in their spouse.) If it’s humor you desire or generosity, look at how you treat yourself in these areas. So many of my clients and people I encounter are hard on themselves, setting unrealistic expectations for themselves. I know I fall into this trap occasionally, too.
Gandhi advised us to be the change we want to see in the world. A relevant variation on that is to be the person you’d like to attract. When we accept and are at peace with ourselves, we project that out to the world, and people want to be around us. Today, be loving toward yourself. At the very least, it will feel good!