Foiled Attempts to Give

Most of us have heard the story about the old man caught in a flood who, waiting for God to save him, died after he turned down three different good Samaritans attempting to help him.  I’ve used that tale myself to illustrate the importance of being open minded about how our good shows up when we need to receive.  Recently I thought about this story from a different perspective, that of the would-be rescuers.

What if the tale were true?  Can you imagine how the three kind souls would have felt if they’d learned of the man’s demise?  Have you ever attempted to give guidance, feedback, or help only to have it rejected?  There may be a temptation to say “I told you so” or “I tried to warn you.”  On the other hand, you may feel guilty or frustrated that your good intentions were not well received, particularly if it involved someone you truly care for.

Having been in this position, I found it took time for me to realize that I had nothing to resent or regret.  Sometimes after considerable angst, I came to accept that I did all I could do and now needed to let go and let God.  Givers cannot be responsible for the receiver’s actions or response.  Giving and receiving is a process, and givers only have control over the giving part; the receiving is up to the other party.  If they’re not ready or willing to accept what is offered, it does not diminish the giver’s efforts.

Remember, this holds true with your children, parents, subordinates, siblings, and friends.  Go easy on yourself; give from your heart and let it go.