What prompted me to write my book was the frequent dialogue I had with singles while I was dating. I found many to be confused, discouraged, demoralized, and occasionally embarrassed. These feelings were the result of being out of alignment, primarily because they had been following Today’s Dating Model.
You may recall that with Today’s Dating Model people move from attraction to physical intimacy very quickly, without having experienced emotional intimacy. We are not just physical or sexual beings. We are also spiritual beings, and we’re complex. Body, mind, and spirit are all interwoven. For instance, we can physically feel our emotions. A knot in the stomach signals worry and tightness in the shoulders can indicate stress. When presented with the chance to do something we find enjoyable, our energy level lifts immediately. We just can’t insulate our bodies from our thoughts or feelings. So when we engage in sex before becoming emotionally intimate with someone, these two types of intimacy are out of alignment. Like the sensation we have when our car is out of alignment, it doesn’t feel comfortable.
With the Sane Sex Model, physical intimacy is grows as emotional intimacy develops. As we get to know the other person and disclose more of ourselves to create greater emotional intimacy, it’s natural to get physically closer, as well. Keep in mind that there is an array of ways to gradually express greater physical closeness. Just as we wouldn’t divulge our deepest secrets to someone we barely know, it doesn’t make sense to have sex with that person either.
The Sane Sex Model honors your heart and your body. It keeps everything in alignment, making it much more likely to have a fulfilling experience emotionally and physically.