We’ve all had our painful relationships and dating missteps. Being cheated on or lied to is sadly not unusual. The important thing is to learn, vow to do things differently next time, and move on. One way to have a better outcome next time is to recognize any warning signs you overlooked. Years ago I […]
Category: Sane Sex for Singles
Want to have a more enjoyable dating experience? It is possible! This site promotes “sane sex” for singles (not no sex and not the insane kind either). Sane sex happens when we put emotional intimacy ahead of physical intimacy, instead of the other way around, which is what we see in movies and on TV all the time. Sane sex happens in the context of an exclusive, loving relationship. Give it a try and see what happens. Banish lousy sex forever!
Try “Yes” for a Change
I’ve been working with singles for years, and I’m still surprised how often they’re quick to shoot down an idea. The most common complaint is that they can’t meet anyone they want to date. They meet singles, but not any “good ones.” These folks ask for ideas, but when I suggest something they immediately dismiss […]
What’s Expected of You?
“Young women in particular seem to feel that they have to do what is expected of them.” Shmuley Boteach, author of Kosher Sex Rabbi Boteach made this observation in 2000, and I still see evidence of its validity today – and not just from younger women. Single women of all ages comment that the impression […]
Honesty is a Non-Negotiable
I’m always amazed to see how much lying happens on television and in the movies. Want to impress someone you’re attracted to? No problem, just make something up. (E.g., the series opener of About a Boy) What’s the thought process here? Unless it’s a one-night stand, they’re eventually bound to find out your real age, […]
Think Before You Text!
I’m amazed at the prevalence of texting reported by my dating coaching clients. Breaking up, arguing, or handling any sensitive matters are not appropriate or effective uses of text messaging, regardless of your age. Just as we have commonly understood rules of etiquette for email messages, such as using all caps is unacceptable (equivalent to […]
Change it Up to Get a Better Result
I hear lots of complaints from singles about who’s “out there.” Both genders lament that the other half is too focused on appearance, and they feel they can’t meet expectations. Men get concerned when a woman asks what he does for a living, and the women think all men want is sex. If this sounds […]
Where Are Your Problem Areas?
People often tell me that the reason they can’t get a date is that they’re not attractive enough. Interestingly, and sadly, I hear this from women and men alike. Usually the women think they’re too heavy, and the men believe they’re too short. In all honesty, I assure you I’ve never met anyone that I […]
Timing is Everything
They say timing is everything, and I certainly think that applies to dating. Just as so many things are fast-tracked today (the Internet, hiring procedures, college courses, and weight loss, to name a few), for many people dating is also in the fast lane. I continue to watch sitcom characters have sex on the first […]
Sex for the Right Reasons
As you can imagine, people I knew were quite interested in my book as I was writing it. A former human resources director writing a book about dating and sex?! I remember a friend telling me that she wished my book was already available, because a friend of hers was making poor decisions. This friend […]
Time to Update the Safe Sex Message
I was asked recently what my bigger-than-I-could-ever-imagine-happening dream is. I’m happy to say that I was able to answer immediately: I’d like to see the safe sex campaign updated for the new millennium and replaced with a sane sex movement. For decades, the government and health officials have been encouraging people to practice safe sex. This means […]