I’ve been working with singles for years, and I’m still surprised how often they’re quick to shoot down an idea. The most common complaint is that they can’t meet anyone they want to date. They meet singles, but not any “good ones.” These folks ask for ideas, but when I suggest something they immediately dismiss it, as if it’s a moral conviction like not eating meat.
Here are some common refusals:
- “I don’t do online dating.” Well, maybe they should. Not all dating sites are the same, and new websites are created all the time. There are several dating sites that have emerged in the six years I’ve been married to Roger.
- “No one good ever goes to that dance.” I hear that about Calculated Couples, the singles dance I met Roger at. I heard it back then, too. Thank heavens I realized that on any given night, anyone could show up. It’s just not accurate that only losers go to an event, as long as you show up. (You’re not a loser, are you?)
- “Church groups are all the same. No thanks.” This typically comes from someone who hasn’t been to church in 20 years. And have they really tried every church to validate this belief?
- “I could never speed date. Are you kidding?” Why not? It’s a three minute conversation with someone. If they do half the talking, that leaves you just 90 seconds to fill. If you’re really panicked, bring a list of questions. I’ve seen it done, so you won’t be the first.
The next time you’re inclined to fuss about the way things are, remember the old adage: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Try saying “yes’ and see what happens.