While traveling in Alaska a few years ago, I learned about the tradition of potlatches. The word “potlatch” means to give, and it is a celebration of a person’s well-being. These were important events, as they established the people’s economic stability and confirmed their status and family ties. In the absence of written deeds, a village member needing to obtain privileges would hold a potlatch during which a totem pole would be raised. The request might involve claiming a hereditary rank of a deceased relative or obtaining a vacated leadership position. The guests witnessing the host request would validate the claim in exchange for valuable gifts presented by the host.
While this sounds harmless and even fun, the practice was carried to extremes. Hosts of potlatches would continually try to outdo each other, saving for years to afford the food and gifts they would have at their potlatch. The celebration could last for two weeks, ending in bankruptcy for the family. The practice was perpetuated, as the hosted family was expected to reciprocate at an even higher level within two years.
In contrast to the potlatch custom, giving from the heart is joyful and rewarding for both the giver and the recipient. I love the idea of honoring tradition and our elders, but this “strings-attached” form of giving seems contradictory. It’s a good reminder that the cliché “give ‘til it hurts” is a notion to release. The gift offered out of obligation is best not given at all.