One thing most, if not all, singles have experienced is rejection. We’ve been looking at single people as salespeople, because using selling techniques effectively helps us get to “yes” and avoid the painful experience of being rejected. One area where I’ve seen many singles fall short is in recognizing their strengths, what they have to offer to another.
Too often singles get caught up in trying to impress, like our bowler from last time, rather than focusing on the need to express their authentic selves. Each of us has gifts, strengths, talents, passions – things that will naturally draw others to us when they’re made aware of them. Recognizing these (remember that “How Well Do You Know Yourself” piece from a couple of months ago?) and simply expressing them is all it takes. The striving and conniving to look good or worse, outshine the one we’d like to impress, is likely to backfire on us. It’s also a lot of work! You’ll find it works so much better when you feel good about yourself because of who you are, not because you see yourself as superior to another. Capable, confident people are much more attractive than competitive showmen (or women).
What makes this even more powerful is when you’ve discovered what the other person is looking for, because then you can emphasize your most relevant strengths. Good salespeople do this all the time. They listen carefully to find out what the prospect needs and then focus on the features of the product that fill the need. Singles can do the same thing, provided they’re being honest and true to themselves, of course. And if the fit isn’t there, it’s likely to be obvious to both of you, making it easier to more on with grace and ease.
You are an amazing person! Know and express it!