Have you ever thought of singles who date as salespeople? We are all salespeople really. We’re always selling something – our ideas, proposals, suggestions, invitations, apologies, and excuses. So single people are always selling, too. They sell themselves over and over again: asking for a dance, a date, a one-night stand (heaven forbid), a weekend away, an exclusive relationship, or marriage. If you’re single, it would behoove you to understand the five steps of the selling process so you can date more successfully and sanely.
A good salesperson begins by learning the prospect’s needs. To do this, singles need to ask good questions, listen, and be aware. Some have a tendency to talk too much, never finding out what they need to about the other person. Others prefer to skip this step and start selling right away. I remember a man I met at a mixer who after two minutes of conversation asked me if I wanted to leave and “go make out” with him! I wish I could tell you this happened decades ago, but no, we were both in our forties. Clearly he had no idea what my needs and interests were – but I got a good idea of what his were!
On the other hand, I recall a gentleman I dated who was particularly good at listening and paying attention. He understood I had a wellness consulting business, and he made note when I told him I was to be interviewed on the radio. He stopped working at just the right time on the afternoon of the interview so he could listen. Later he told me all about it, repeating back what I’d said that he liked. He was clearly listening well, before and during the interview, so he knew what was important to me. This got him started on the second step very effectively: gain the prospect’s confidence. Join me next time for more stories on that.