When people see my book cover or hear me say the name of the book, Worth Waiting For, Sane Sex for Singles, they often hear “same” sex rather than “sane” sex. I like the phrase “sane sex” because it’s close to safe sex in sound and is just one level up from safe sex on the sexual continuum. (The sexual continuum is one way to represent how we experience sex: silly sex, superficial sex, safe sex, sane sex, and sacred sex.) I encourage people to step it up a level and commit to more than just having safe sex; I invite them to have sane sex, which is sex in the context of an exclusive, loving relationship, where we put emotional intimacy ahead of physical intimacy.
But what about “same” sex? Does sane sex apply only to straight couples? Not at all. Attraction, sex, love, and emotional intimacy are universal experiences, regardless of sexual orientation. Whether one is gay or straight, having sex with a virtual stranger just doesn’t make sense. Smart, healthy people treasure their bodies, and they want to be intimate only with someone who will also treasure their body. How can a person who barely knows you really treasure anything about you? Sane sex makes just as much sense for those interested in same sex as it does for anyone else.