What Do You Find Irresistible?

Have you ever met someone you just couldn’t resist?  If you polled people, you’d find that there is a wide variety qualities or characteristics they find so attractive they lose their resolve, discretion, and typical good judgment. For instance, some are drawn to people in the entertainment world or public eye.  Individuals in powerful positions […]

Does Sane Sex Work at Any Age?

I’ve been asked if the sane sex applies to single people of any age.  It does, although I get uncomfortable when people suggest having high schoolers read my book. While the book’s message is one I would love teenagers to embrace, I consider sex to be an adult behavior and inappropriate for anyone under age […]

Is the Wait Long? – Part Two

How long does it take to establish the emotional intimacy needed for sane sex?  As I stated last time, it does not have to be long.  When Roger and I met, we’d both done our inner work.  We spent time together that allowed us to talk and really get to know each other.  Neither of […]

Is the Wait Long?

I admit that the phrase, “worth waiting for,” can suggest having to settle in for the long haul.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  To practice sane sex means to delay having sex with someone you’re attracted to until you’re emotionally intimate with them.  So the question becomes, how long does it take […]

Who Deserves You?

One of my clients recently shared with me advice he had received regarding employment. He was told to work for an organization that deserved him, rather than one who needed him.  That’s a new way of looking at things that could be applied to almost any area of life.  How would it work for you […]

Handling First Dates – Part Two

So you’re comfortable with where you’re going on your first date.  Now what? Drive yourself so you can leave when you want. Tell a friend where and when you’re going. Avoid going straight from work.  Allow yourself time to shift out of work or family mode and into a social, ready for fun frame of […]

Handling First Dates – Part One

As I discussed last week, singles events can take us out of our comfort zones.  If you’ve been successful at working the room and meeting new people, you ideally will be faced with the next major challenge: the dreaded first date. Many people find first dates nerve-wracking.  For me, as a former human resources professional, […]

You Can Do It!

“You must do the things you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt Many people who become single over forty stop dating or, worse yet, don’t even start, out of fear or discomfort. They have an unpleasant dating experience and they give up, deciding it’s easier not to try at all.  Easier? Perhaps, but not more […]

Looking For External Validation

Last week I wrote about the danger of needing to outshine your partner to feel good about yourself.  To illustrate my point, I’d like to tell you about one man in particular who really stood out. Our entire first date was more like an interview, where he assessed my education (I had a master’s; he […]

What Makes You Feel Good About Yourself?

It’s natural for us to like to be around people who make us feel good about ourselves.  I remember a coworker of mine several years ago who made me feel like a million bucks every time I walked into his office.  What a high it was being around him! Just what is it about the […]