The Potlatch Tradition – Giving Gone Awry

While traveling in Alaska a few years ago, I learned about the tradition of potlatches. The word “potlatch” means to give, and it is a celebration of a person’s well-being.  These were important events, as they established the people’s economic stability and confirmed their status and family ties. In the absence of written deeds, a […]

Buddha’s Approach to Sane Sex

I was delighted to learn recently that the sane sex approach to dating is in alignment with the third of Buddhism’s Five Mindfulness Trainings dating back to the 5th century B.C.E.  As you may recall, sane sex is always safe and results from combining attraction with emotional intimacy.  It happens in the context of an […]

Consider the Opposing Choice

As an academic and career coach, I help people develop the skills to succeed. Successful students usually become effective employees; most of the skills are transferrable.  In keeping with this week’s theme, let’s look at some of the things a student or employee (or manager) might do if they did not want to be successful. […]

What Would You Do Not to Receive?

Are you striving to receive something?  Perhaps it’s a new job, a special relationship, or a healing.  Let’s make sure we’re open to receiving by turning our thinking inside out regarding receiving. What would someone do who believes it’s better to give than to receive or feels guilty when given recognition or gratitude? Refuse offers […]

Turn Your Thinking Inside Out When Dating

When I was a leader for Weight Watchers, my favorite meeting topic was “What would you do if you wanted to gain weight?” The members listed many items and then we discussed how often they actually did those things – the exact opposite of what they knew they should be doing.  It was a real […]

Is It Time to Intervene?

There are similarities between academic and career issues, as I’ve found being a parent, an educator, and a manager.  One common issue is knowing when to intervene with a student or a subordinate.  It’s important to recognize the possible early warning signs that we can observe: Difficulty focusing or concentrating or showing signs of sleepiness […]

Our Finest Moments

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”  ~ M. Scott Peck […]

Is a “Friends with Benefits” Relationship for You?

I’ve written before about a “friends with benefits” arrangement where the benefits are sex and the partners are friends. Romantic love is not part of the arrangement, and the parties may or may not be exclusive. A friends with benefits relationship is more than a one-night stand, as it typically involves people who began as […]

Look for the Good

It seems to be human nature to look for what’s wrong, what’s not working, or what needs improvement.  I understand striving for excellence; after all, I’ve authored a self-help book.  The problem is that when too much emphasis is placed on finding what’s broken and fixing it leaders miss opportunities to praise and encourage employees. […]

A Look Inside My Journal

If you’ve been with me from the beginning, you may recall that I’m writing about what I want to learn: how to receive with more grace and ease.  Because of my focus, I am led to many teachings and examples that support this vision. The ones that strike me the most I log in my […]