“You must do the things you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Many people who become single over forty stop dating or, worse yet, don’t even start, out of fear or discomfort. They have an unpleasant dating experience and they give up, deciding it’s easier not to try at all. Easier? Perhaps, but not more enjoyable. Yes, they can avoid the awkwardness of not knowing what to say or the discomfort of being alone in a crowd of people by staying at home, but that gets lonely after a while.
Eleanor Roosevelt grew up in wealth, but she was awkward, unattractive, and painfully shy. She learned the benefits to be gained when we do the things we think we cannot do. Singles would do well to follow her advice. I used to go to singles dances two or three times a month. Most of the time, I got asked to dance and I had a good time. But occasionally I went unnoticed. I recall standing there ill at ease, feeling as if everyone was staring at me. I realize now how silly that notion was. I wasn’t being stared at – no one was looking at me! If someone had noticed me, I would have approached them and begun a conversation.
At some point in the process, we have to put ourselves out there and be willing to take some risks. It gets easier if we keep our thoughts under control and keep the big picture in mind. Although I got discouraged at times, I eventually got back in the game. With experience, it got more comfortable to meet new people, and finally I met Roger. Don’t sell yourself short; you can do it!