One of my clients recently shared with me advice he had received regarding employment. He was told to work for an organization that deserved him, rather than one who needed him. That’s a new way of looking at things that could be applied to almost any area of life. How would it work for you if you only stayed in relationships with people who deserved you?
While many people think about being needed in the workplace, the tendency in personal relationships is to seek being desired. The idea of dating someone who needs us is uncomfortable – who wants to be with a needy person? But being seen as desirable? This is pretty appealing to most folks. However, to shift our perspective to that of being deserved by the other person is bold. It suggests a high value for both parties. To deserve is “to have earned or be worthy of something.” We are a treasure, and the other person has demonstrated worthiness of our great value.
To accomplish being in a relationship with someone who deserves us, we first truly have to know our value and what we bring to a relationship. Then we need to be discerning enough to determine if the other person deserves what we are. Neither of these steps is quick or easy, but the outcome surely seems worth the effort.