Turn Your Thinking Inside Out When Dating

Written by Joanne Deck. Posted in Blog, Sane Sex for Singles

When I was a leader for Weight Watchers, my favorite meeting topic was “What would you do if you wanted to gain weight?” The members listed many items and then we discussed how often they actually did those things – the exact opposite of what they knew they should be doing.  It was a real eye-opener.  Let’s try that here: what would you do if you didn’t want to meet anyone?

  • Stay at home and complain that you never meet anyone.
  • Go to a singles event, but stay hidden in the back.
  • Refuse to consider the suggestions of friends and family, saying you’ve already tried those things.
  • Go to a dance and either turn down every offer to dance or not ask anyone to dance.
  • Resist trying anything new to you, such as speed dating, taking a non-credit class, or volunteering.
  • Keep seeing the same person who you’ve told friends repeatedly is not the one for you.

What would you add to this list?  Try doing the opposite and see what happens.

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Joanne Deck

Joanne M. Deck, MBA, SPHR is a certified academic and career coach, educator, public speaker, and author with expertise in higher education, careers, and healthy dating relationships. She has over 20 years of corporate experience as an instructor and tutor, leadership coach, human resources director, wellness and management consultant, and customer service manager and is active with Toastmasters, having achieved the levels of ACS and ALB. Joanne is also the author of Sane Sex for Singles, a three-time winning dating guide for the new millennium. Joanne was born in Rochester, NY and graduated from the University at Albany, NY with a degree in math and an MBA in human resources. She is the mother of young adult twin daughters and lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband, Roger. Joanne is currently working on her next book, Learning to Receive with Grace and Ease, aimed at helping people become more comfortable and skillful receivers. Her observation is that most people have the giving side of the equation down, but struggle with receiving.

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