Author Archive

Joanne Deck

Joanne M. Deck, MBA, SPHR is a certified academic and career coach, educator, public speaker, and author with expertise in higher education, careers, and healthy dating relationships. She has over 20 years of corporate experience as an instructor and tutor, leadership coach, human resources director, wellness and management consultant, and customer service manager and is active with Toastmasters, having achieved the levels of ACS and ALB. Joanne is also the author of Sane Sex for Singles, a three-time winning dating guide for the new millennium. Joanne was born in Rochester, NY and graduated from the University at Albany, NY with a degree in math and an MBA in human resources. She is the mother of young adult twin daughters and lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband, Roger. Joanne is currently working on her next book, Learning to Receive with Grace and Ease, aimed at helping people become more comfortable and skillful receivers. Her observation is that most people have the giving side of the equation down, but struggle with receiving.

Darkest Just Before the Dawn?

Written by Joanne Deck. Posted in Blog, Learning To Receive

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn.”

Harriet Beecher Stowe, Novelist, 1811 – 1886

Is it really darkest just before dawn?  I could not verify this, but it sure seems that way when we need to receive.  Based on the above quotation from Harriet Beecher Stowe, it appears she would have agreed.  I love her expression of hope, though!  In fact, my daughter gave me this quotation years ago, and I’ve had it taped on my desk ever since.

Persistence is critical when we are looking to receive.  Charles Fillmore thought so.  Consider the following words from this co-founder of the Unity movement: “There are many persons who will to be prosperous and who have made up their minds, as they think, very determinedly.  But they have not overcome all doubts, and when their demonstration is delayed, as it is in such cases, the doubt increases until they lose faith altogether.  What they need is more persistence and determination.”

If this issue speaks to you, recommit to claiming what you desire to receive– an answer, a partner, greater prosperity, a buyer for your home–whatever it may be.  Make a list of the resources you have to help you stay in belief.  Include inspirational reading and music, friends you could contact who will stand with you, and your own list of previous experiences you’ve had receiving what you needed.  Finally, don’t forget to visit my blog at http://artandscienceofreceiving.blogspot.com/ to see all my posts on learning to receive with grace and ease.

Do Your Inner Work

Written by Joanne Deck. Posted in Blog, Sane Sex for Singles

Years ago I ran an outplacement center for a manufacturing plant that was closing.  Most of the people employed by the company had never worked anywhere else.  They needed lots of help with resume writing and interviewing, which I expected.  What amazed me, though, was how little these folks knew about themselves.  When I asked them to list their strengths and positive qualities, they were dumbfounded.  I tried asking them how a friend would describe them, but got no better response.

Having gone through my dating experience, I’ve come to conclude that these individuals were not the exception.  Many people, maybe most, have not done their inner work.  They have no sense of their true worth or what makes them a blessing to the world.  Without a strong sense of self, they’re discouraged and left feeling inadequate as the media confronts them daily with dozens of images of perfection.  No one can live up to the retouched photos and other unrealistic examples of “the norm” which surround us.

If a meaningful relationship is what you seek, it’s essential not only that you do your inner work, but also that the other person has done theirs.  If they don’t know their worth, their modus operandi may be to have sex right away, before you discover who they really are.  They’re masters at making the good first impression. They’ve got the superficial down pat, but dig deeper, and they’re afraid you’ll find there’s not much there.  I believe there’s a lot there, but if they don’t know it, they can’t show it.

This scenario is just one of the reasons I named my book “Worth Waiting For.”  Avoid getting physically intimate too quickly.  You and a fulfilling relationship are worth the wait!

Exercise Preference Assessment

Written by Joanne Deck. Posted in Blog, Nurturing Yourself - Wellness

Exercise Assessment

The key to regular exercise is doing something you really enjoy.  I’d like to share an assessment I have developed to help my clients figure out the best types of activity for them.  If you want to actual form, contact me.  Otherwise, take a piece a paper and create your own form.

Begin by listing the following factors in a row on the left-side of the page: Know how to do it, Can do alone,  Have equipment needed, Can do at home, Done outdoors, Performed in or on the water, Involves competition, Aerobic benefits, Strength-building, Flexibility benefits, Possess skills needed, Instructor led, Affordable.

Then draw a table, making several columns across the page.  At the top of each column, fill in the forms of exercise/activity that you enjoy or think you would enjoy.  Now consider each factor as a question.  For example, ask yourself, “do I know how to do this?” or “is this performed in the water?”  Then reflect on if the way you answered is a good thing.  If so, put a + in the box.  If your answer suggests that exercise may not work for you, put a – in the box.

For example, if you are assessing swimming and you love being in the water but you don’t have access to a pool, you would put a + in the “Performed in or on the water” box and a – in the “Have the equipment needed” box.  If walking is one of the exercises you listed, you might put a – for “Done outdoors” if it’s summer in Phoenix and a + at the other times of the year when walking outdoors would be enjoyable.  Leave the box blank for neutral responses and use a ? if you don’t know and need to do some research.

Fill in each box and total the +, -, and blanks/? at the bottom.   When you’re done, review your scores.  Are you regularly doing the activities with the most plusses?  If not, what would it take for you to begin?    See if you can overcome those negatives and get started today!  Let me know if I can help.